4:13 AM
by Anybodys
Summary: Alec Hardy has a difficult time falling asleep. He ends up keeping Ellie Miller company.


Getting accustomed to life after so much had happened for Ellie Miller was overwhelmingly simple and simply overwhelming. While she had amended her relationship with Beth and her family and settled down into her home, it sometimes felt like there was something still wrong that she could never quite fix. Every so often Joe would flicker through her mind, and her skin would boil and her vision would shake, but she clamped her eyes shut and shook him out of her head until her next distraction came along.

Sometimes that distraction took the form of Alec Hardy.

If she had been told he would end up living with her one day, she would have thought of the comment as nothing more than a joke that was only humorous in the slightest. Things had certainly changed, however. When Alec had arrived at her doorstep, he did so with a head half bowed in embarrassment and hands balled into tight fists.

"What are you doing here, Hardy?" she asked him in a voice brimming with skepticism and surprise.

"I have no place else to go."

"What about your daughter?"

He looked older in the dim light, eyes exhausted and face forlorn. Through his nose he took a deep breath and never returned an exhale of the same calibre.

"It's a long story, Miller," he said at last. "I only came here because I don't have a clue where I should be and you're the only person I can trust." His voice shook slightly.

 _Oh, you trust me, do you?_ ran through her head, but she instead let her gaze flicker over him and the bags in his hands.

"Don't just stand there," she started. "Come in. You can tell me all about it."

She gave him a cup of tea and let him talk for as long as he needed. Alec kept his head bowed, refusing to meet her gaze out of nothing but his stubbornness and embarrassment, and recanted the story of the fallout with his daughter and how he could hardly stand to be around his ex-wife anymore. "I can't stay there," he said. "I don't think I could bear it after all that happened."

"I understand," Ellie told him sympathetically.

Alec shrugged his shoulders, drooping back further into the chair, looking more defeated than she had ever seen him before. "Guess I could stop by Becca's, couldn't I? I'd just need to figure out how to pay for that long."

"No need to bother. I have a spare bedroom you can stay in."

Finally, he looked up at her, something indecipherable brewing in his eyes. "I couldn't po-"

"Stop being an arse and take help when it's being offered to you. You can stay with me for a bit."

He quietly accepted it.

It had been a few weeks since the conversation had taken place. Alec did chores around the house in exchange for his room, and kept mostly to himself, reading and occasionally writing things he never told her about. He was quite alright to live with as far as housemates went.

The only time they ever had full conversations was during and after dinner, while Alec helped her clear off the table. Sometimes Fred would sit by Ellie's feet and play with whatever toy in hand, and Ellie would pick him up and brush his hair back with his hand while Alec looked away bashfully.

One night, after Ellie tucked Fred into bed and returned to the kitchen for a drink, she found Alec sitting at the table, picking at her tablecloth, deep in whatever thoughts swirled around in his head that he held back. "What're you still doing here?" she asked him. "Need anything?"

He shook his head. "I'm just tired."

"Why don't you go off to bed, then?"

"Can't sleep."

She tilted her head. "How long has that been a problem for?"

"Few days. No need to worry about me, I get struck with sleeplessness every now and then."

"Why would I ever be worried about you?"

Something resembling a grin weakly flashed on his face for an instant. He didn't say another word to her for the rest of the night.

Alec was similar to a cat, creeping around and minding his own business, appearing to mew at her when he felt like it and drawing back into himself when he was done. He retreated back into his room a few minutes after their brief exchange, and Ellie took over the bathroom shortly afterward to get ready for bed.

She left her door open out of a habit to appease a nagging feeling that something would happen to her children if she didn't. Curling up under her blankets, she drifted off to sleep soon.

"Miller!"

Her eyes snapped opened at the voice that be sliced through the scene playing through her head, making her heart beat wildly and her palms sweaty. It took her a moment to gain awareness of what was happening, and then looked up to see Alec leaning over her.

"You alright, Miller?"

"What happened?"

"You were talking rather loudly in your sleep."

"Was I?" She sat up, doing her best to blink her disorientation away. Alec sat down on the bed next to her.

"I thought maybe you were ill. You feeling alright?"

"Peachy," she murmured.

"Bad dream, then?"

"I think." It came back to her in bits and pieces, flashing through her head in unintelligible spurts. What she regained of it made her skin crawl. "Something to do with Joe," she muttered.

"That is a bad dream."

Ellie turned her head to look at him. "And what are you doing up walking around at this time of night?"

"Told you I can't sleep earlier, right?" He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I was going to go stand in the kitchen like I do sometimes. Just happened I walked past your room at the right time."

She pursed her lips and shifted her gaze to her bedsheets. "Don't you get tired during the day?"

"I've been tired for months," he snorted. "You get used to it."

"Not very good for your health, innit?"

"Since when have I cared about my health?" He tilted his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Good thing I'm here to look out for you now."

"I can look out for myself."

"Clearly not."

"Didn't you say a few hours ago you don't worry about me?" He paused for a moment. "I take care of what I feel like I need to take care of. I don't need anyone to worry about me."

"I don't know why you isolate yourself so much," Ellie said. "One person can only get so lonely."

"And who said I was lonely?"

"Don't sit there and tell me you're completely happy with being seen as some self-obsessed arse."

He didn't respond. Instead, he slightly shrugged his shoulders and lifted his head, catching a quick glimpse of Ellie before drooping again in a different direction. "Suppose I'd better leave then."

"I don't know if I can go back to sleep quite yet," she said rather quickly. "If you want to stay and chat, there's no bother."

She didn't expect him to stay, but to her surprise he nodded his head and gave a reluctant, wistful grin. "Never properly thanked you for letting me stay here," he started.

"What brought that up?"

"I don't know, I figured I'd tell you now rather than later."

"It's no problem."

"Really, you didn't have to," he continued on. "And I've been so aloof."

"You've been like that since I first met you."

"I'm as every bit of an insufferable bastard as you've told me I've been, aren't I?" Amusement finally rang in his voice, breaking his otherwise sullen appearance.

"You've just now figured it out? You really are the worst policeman in Britain."

He snorted, looking up at Ellie with a playful expression and moving in closer to her. "Listen, I've had a rough number of months-"

"Haven't we all?"

"True, but-"

"No excuse."

"Oh, and where's your job, DS Miller?"

"Completely different circumstances than yours."

"And if I remember correctly, I was discharged for health reasons, which isn't related to claims of me being a terrible policeman."

"Which can then be linked back to the fact you can hardly take care of yourself. How are you supposed to take care of cases?"

"Cases before myself."

"I think you can afford to take care of yourself for once."

The teasing nature evaporated almost instantly from Alec's face, leaving an emotion Ellie couldn't unscramble behind. "Are you alright, Hardy?"

He didn't say anything for a moment; then, "I'm thinking."

"About what now?"

"How the moon's awful bright tonight, don't you think?"

"I hadn't noticed." She quickly looked back at her window. "Suppose you're right."

"You look quite pretty in the light."

The words came off his tongue with the same casualness as the rest of the words, but also bubbled with uncertainty, as if he regretted letting them slip away.

"I look like a mess right now."

"I don't think so."

"I've just woke up. Nobody looks fine when they just wake up."

"Some people do. Guess you're one of 'em."

Ellie eyed him suspiciously. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you're flirting with me."

He didn't attempt to refute, but only shook his head. "Just a comment."

"Clearly." She kept her eyes on him.

"You doubt me, Miller?"

"Didn't say I did."

"You act like it."

"I think you're too tired for your own good."

"Thanks, didn't realize it."

She took a breath, pushing the covers away and moving closer to Alec.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know, I'm awake now. I feel like I'm ill when I'm sitting over there and you're down here."

"Why do you feel like that?"

"Don't know. Just like I'm bed-ridden, I suppose. Bit constraining."

"I don't want to keep you up any longer than you have to be."

"Already told you that I'm awake. I'm thinking about ten thousand different things myself now."

He sighed deeply. "I wish I could go back, Miller."

"To your job or your family?"

"Both. Everything was perfectly alright before the bloody Sandbrook case." He brought his hand up to his hair, combing his fingers through it as he wrinkled his nose in disapproval. "Now I'm just wasting my time doing nothing. I've tried calling them back, but no one will pick up the phone. My daughter doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what I did."

"Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes things are out of your control."

"But my own daughter? I could handle my career, maybe, but her?"

She sent him a sympathetic look. "Hardy?"

"Hm?"

"Would you like that hug now?"

He accepted it without a word, burying his face into her shoulder. His hands gripped her back tightly. Ellie let him stay there for as long as he needed, habitually reaching up her hand to stroke his hair gently, just like she did when she comforted her children.

When he pulled away, his beard brushed coarsely against her cheek. His forehead remained close to hers, hovering uncertainly near her face. "I best be getting back to my room now," he murmured.

"Wait, Hardy."

"Hm?"

Hesitantly, she rested her palm against his cheek, and then leaned forward to press a light kiss onto his lips. She could hear his breathing shallowing, and instantly she worried that she had made the wrong move, until he returned the gesture. This time it lasted a second longer, before it evolved into something more sincere. She wasn't sure if he was the driving force or if she was. It didn't matter either way. Not until it had ended.

They broke away, both feeling slightly confused, unsure of where to move their hands and where to look and when to breathe and what to say. Alec cleared his throat.

"Night, Miller."

"Night, Hardy."

He got to his feet, fumbling with his shirt, before vanishing into the dark hallway. She did her best to settle back down into bed; how to get back to sleep, however, was beyond her. At least she knew Alec Hardy was a fantastic kisser.


End file.
